When God Calls

"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you." - 1 Peter 5:10

It's a scary thing when you find yourself being called to ministry. I'm not just talking about as a pastor or evangelist, but on any level. It's true that as a Christian, I am very aware that I have been called to be a witness; but witnessing on a personal level to those around me and standing on public platform, as a leader, are two totally different things. Still, when you ask God to use you, and He calls, you need to answer. 

Last year, I had a conversation with two of my friends. It was at the inauguration ceremony for one of the executive body for one of the social clubs I'm a part of (by default). They were trying to convince me that I should run for VP of Spiritual Affairs for the same club the following year. I, naturally, told them no. I had no interest in being at the forefront of any group, especially because, honestly speaking, people annoy me. The conversation ended and that was that. The thought left my mind. 

As last school year came to a close and elections came up, the conversation from the year before resurfaced in my mind. I started to entertain the idea of running for the Vice-President position. Still, I wasn't sure. I have so many bad habits and I didn't have the confidence. I found out that my younger cousin, a male studying religion and theology, had decided to run for the position. My personal belief is that I don't compete against family, so I used that as an excuse to back out. 

Over the summer break, my cousin decided that he wasn't going to be returning to school for reasons that I could not disclose even if I wanted since I don't know them. In my mind, I thought, "Maybe this really is what God wants." So, I went and spoke to one of the members of the executive body and told them I was interested in the position. 

Despite the fact that I was the only person who showed any  interest in the position, two other people were nominated by the executive committee and the three of us were scheduled to attend an interview. I was the only one to show up to the interview on time. They started the interview with me, and then asked me to step out so they could deliberate. Since I was the only interviewee to be in attendance, I was a bit confused as to why they needed to discuss whether or not I would get the position. It was nerve wrecking to think that they would rather leave the position open than to allow me to fill it. When they called me back in, they announced that I had gotten the job. 

The story doesn't end here - it's just the beginning. I wonder if this is how Moses felt when God told him to stand before Pharaoh. The task ahead of me is daunting. There is so much that can be done, so much that must be done, and it terrifies me. What if I'm not good enough? What if I fall short and fail? My inadequacies are shouting out to me, drowned out only by my fears. And somewhere, underneath it all, is a voice - a calm, quiet voice - telling me ever so gently that I am good enough and that He has called me to this purpose. In order for me to hear that Voice, I have to force myself to focus and to tune out the noise. The other voices are louder, but this Voice is more powerful.

I honestly believe that God has called me to do this work. If He has called me, then He will equip me. This is what I choose to believe. This is what I will cling to.